This year has been an insane roller coaster. It started about 10 months ago and has not let up.
First, I was asked to design a limited edition line of fabric with Art Gallery (which I felt totally and completely incapable of doing). Second, I released my first, second, and third PDF sewing patterns. Again, feeling totally crazy for thinking I could do that. I barely knew anything about patterns.. I just loved to sew! Next, I headed to quilt market where I was surrounded by the industry’s best. YET AGAIN, overwhelmed with my incompetence, lack of knowledge, skills, etc. Came home and released my fourth and fifth PDF sewing patterns. THEN I was asked to speak at a couple of events.. “you want ME to speak?” To me, the thought was absolutely laughable. Now, my patterns are in print and while it makes me feel a little more “legit”, it still feels unbelievable.
Sometimes I laugh thinking about what my friends from high school must be thinking about my life path (if they’re even thinking of me- ha!). I don’t keep up with many of them except for pictures and status updates on Facebook, but I know they must think it is just crazy that the girl who played sports, was voted “most athletic”, the girl who never took an art class and was by no means deemed creative is pursuing a career in a highly creative industry. Actually, I think it is kind of crazy.
Let me let you in on a little secret: I have no idea what I am doing. NO, seriously. That saying “fake it ’till you make it”? It’s been my life motto for the past ten months. BUT, I have goals and dreams and places I want my career to take me. I am daily striving to be better in all aspects of my career (researching, taking classes, perfecting skills, trying new things, getting out of my “creative comfort zone”). NO, this is not where I thought I would be in my life 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even 2 years ago, really, but it is what it is and I am so grateful for it.
Doubting and comparing yourself daily is exhausting.
And while I definitely think a little self-doubt is good for the ego, I think a dash more confidence can boost spirits and propel you to be the best version of yourself. That’s my goal from here on out: to be humbly confident. And it’s also my challenge for you.. in what EVER stage of life you’re in. You never know what you can do until you try. Even if you’re trying without knowing what’s next.